I am an observer of people. I love to meet new people and get to know them. I have an uncanny ability to quickly come to understand someone and know them very personally. So… I thought it might be helpful to write about my observations.
The first of these notes concerns what the title suggests. What people say that they want or what they need. And… my observation is this: Most people don’t really understand what they want or need. Their behavior indicates something quite different from what they say.
A common example is – “I really want to meet someone to spend time with”
That simple statement is in actuality very intricate. I know guys who say “I really want a fantastic girlfriend.” When asked to define what that means, they have no idea what fantastic means. And they never go anywhere that would allow them to meet a fantastic girl if they did know what that means. And even more incredibly, when presented with a fantastic girl, they ignore her or run away. And so… they really don’t want a fantastic girl. They want to moan about not having one.
I tend to be very goal-oriented. I always have been. When I don’t reach my goals, I usually recognize that it is because I can be lazy and I’m not willing to do what is required to reach the goal. I want to be rich, but have not put forth the effort to become so. Ergo – I am not rich.
I really love the cause and effect conversation in the second Matrix movie between Neo and the Merovingian. “I have drunk too much wine, therefore I must piss.” Cause and effect.
The next time that you say you want or need something – PAUSE. Ask yourself what you are doing to get that and how much of that has passed you by (and why). The answers may surprise you if you are honest.